Sunday, February 29, 2004
I'm BACK!!!~~
wah can't really put down my experience in words now....really enjoyed a great time with Mildred, Ugin and the rest of the Mako scuba diving gang!
Think i break down into each subheadings then easier to collect my thots tog...:P
Place: Pulay Dayang. It's simply a beautiful place, with swaying coconut trees, clear blue waters, abundant species of fishes and corals, warm people and wonderful company!! :P
People: We went with 8 people, including me and Mil, there are Kiat and Wee San, the instructors; Esther and husband, Alvin, who were doing the advance course; and leisure divers, Ugin, Joanne and Joanna (ya it's 2 ppl with very similar names :P)
Food: THe food was amazingly lavish (prob becoz all of us were always v hungry and tired when we finished our dives :P) But I really didn't expect that small, q desolated resort which is only populated during the weekends, to haf such good food lo....accomodation was not bad too....Food was q sumptuous, with drinks, dessert, bfast, lunch and dinner....always a variety of stuff there waiting for us to take....I ate so much for dinner ystd coz we're totally shagged out liao....ate alot of chix wings (i can't be bothered w the bird flu lar...:P) and satay...simply fantastic!!
Accomodation: It's a simple but q comfy resort lo, sth like those huts in Sentosa chalet....nice, can slp up to 5 ppl in one room....got air-con some more..but q chilly in the middle of the night...it was alr beyond my expectations liao...:P
Scenery: it was simply fantastic! Real glad that we were able to see more on the 2nd day coz else I wud be rather disappointed and may not even come back agen liao....but luckily, with God's grace, the weather was superb!! and we get to see loads of fishies and corals on our last dive!!
Diving: Today was very good on the whole. We did rescue for the morning dive before bfast....me and Mil find it q easy to manage tho when Kiat told us step-by-step, I was alr confused w all the procedures...:P But we all done well, and he rewarded us by bringing us down to abt 60ft underwater and we got to see so many more fishes and corals! Really happie~~~~ :D
Conclusion: ON the whole, I enjoyed myself tremendously....really glad that i went on this trip becoz it was like a much-deserved break for me after all those tons of tuts and things to do......but well, back to S'pore, reality checks in.....:( Sigh i still wan holiday!!!!! :P
Saturday, February 28, 2004
jus sat for my written test for scuba diver. q okay lar, tho there're some qns i don't really noe wat it means...:P
got this feeling that I'm still in the sea....with the currents buoying me up and down..:( Joanna said it's like that for newbie diver like me lo...But I kinda feeling dizzy liao...Don't like this feeling that I'm still like 'moving' when actually i'm on land...:(
ystd on our way to Dayang, sat in this super cold..(brrr.....=X) boat. Was really almost frozen to death when I was trying to get some slp...Shouldn't have slept so late on Fri (correction, it's so early coz i slept at like 6am in the morn???!!!) :P
went out of the 'cold turkey chamber' with Ugin to thaw....yesh, literally thawing lo :( But everywhere was filled with ppl...didn't know so many ppl also going to Dayang, kinda feel that 'exclusiveness' of diving gone liao...hee :P
had a a fun time diving in the sea at Dayang....*woot!* trying hard to descend and do all those excercises for the 1st dive...but kinda q hard initially, coz I was like q excited and at the same time nervous so abit the panicky when we were down there....but subsequent dives were better, felt that I could at least control my buoyancy liao w some ease liao...:P
the underwater scenery, to my disappointment, wasn't that fantastic...prob it's the location we're at lo....Luckily the last dive before we break for the day was q good. It's called Sebukang, somewhere near the Leeway resort according to Ugin.
went to dive at sebukang and omigosh!! we saw so many species of fishy and corals man!!! :P Simply delighted! Finally saw sth worth of the trip...:) didn't really dared to touch them coz I wasn't waering gloves and scared kena sting or scratched..>:P But looking at all those fishies were really amazing....finally understood how Ugin feel when's he down in the water and why he has such passion for scuba diving...:P
considering of taking up Advanced course, but dunno yet lar....coz dun haf the $$ unless i go work durin the long summer hols...:P
*yawnzz~~~* feel like sleeping liao...super tired after 3 dives in a day.....going up and down the boat, getting geared up, wearing that stupid tank and jumping off the boat...damn shag lo...but can't wait for the rest of the 2 dives tomolo....shall get some slp now....Zzzzzzz.....
Friday, February 27, 2004
in a few hrs time, I'll be on the bus to Mersing, and one step closer to Dayang!!!! *yeah*
shall tell you guys all abt my exciting trip when I get back!!
See ya!~~~~ :)
jus went for my final pool session before my Dayang trip tomolo evening....kept telling myself that I mus remain calm and composed, and jus take my time and do the excercises slowly so that I'll not panic and start to breath very hard....And I did it! Omogish, can't believe how ecstatic I was when i could easily finished all the tasks the instructor asked me and Mil to do.....and he gave me the good sign for most of the excercises.....happy~~~~~
Now I've regained my confidence in diving......once considered to give up coz I tot I really can't do it and it's really sth out of my limits lo...But luckily i perservered and kept trying....I think most imptly is I dun panic and be stress ba, other than that if I keep on remaining cool and composed, it shouldn't be a big probbie lo....
And it jus daunted on me that diving is actually meant to be a relaxing sport....so why should I try to rush thru everything and give myself so much unnecessary pressure? I should actually me enjoying wat I'm doing....So that's wat i did jus now....I kept telling myself that all these excercises are not hard or diff, I sure can do it one...Jus don't panic...
Thank GOd also for giving me a calm mind and the ability to think clearly and plan carefully before I actually perform all those tasks......wah~~~ really happy leh....coz that means, I'm almost going to become a certified NAUI diver soon!!! yipppppeee!!!!! :D
was feeling really great after the pool.....me and Mil walked down to the main road trying to see if there are any buses to take us back to Outram stn....but can't seem to find the bus stop lo...so we walked and walked and eventually we reached Chinatown! :P Wanted to get some nice supper, but turned out that most of the food stalls all close liao.....sianzzz....so we only bot some munchies at 7-Eleven den walked back to the stn.....den we saw that the famous porridge stall with the tian2 ji1 porridge was still open!!! But it was q crowded and it was alr 11pm.....I scared that I dun haf bus back and had to waste $ on cab fare so we drop the idea...Nvm, next time shall jio Mil Mil go there and eat supper.....:P
wanted to do sth like give myself a big break leh....but my roomie got class tom so can't watch VCDs with her.....aiyah nvm lar, think I also q tired liao...
But somehow, I really enjoyed the trip back to hall......when me and Mil were jus walking, with no clue as to where it'll lead us....The feeling was really unusual...I dun really get to stay out so late in the night, with possible no bus back or wat......And becoz i stay in hall that's y i get to do that lo.....nevertheless, it was an enjoyable night with good company from Mil:)
ok think i shall go koonzzzz liao then tom do some reading for the acc lect that i'm gonna skip on Sat (again! :P) den get ready for the trip!!!
Dayang, here I come~~~~~~!!!!!
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
FINALLY!!!!! *drum roll* My agony of the week is over!!! *woohoo!!!*
jus had my Acc II quiz....wasn't v bad lar, only noe i got 2 qns wrong so deducted 1/2 mark liao.....aiyah heck care liao, i did wat i could do and took the quiz liao....jus wait for it to come back...dun care of my results also...:P
in a holiday mood now~~~~lalalalalal
but can't wait for tom's pool session....am q confident now coz i've been practising holding my breath as long as i can so I won't fault on the excercise on sharing air again.....shall pass thru all the excercises tom so I can go on my Dayang trip on Fri nite!! woohoo!!! Heard that the weather in Dayang now is superrrrrr goot!!! yeah, that means I can see schools of various type of fishy!!! Yeah!! So excited now.....can't wait for hols to come....lalalalalla ;P
but there's still an issue remain: To switch course or not.... Yup that is the qn of the week!! Guess I'll be racking my brains, weighing the pros and cons until i'm confident to reach a conclusion.....until then, guess it's more consideration and more consideration......:(
wat the heck...shall enjoy my early holiday now!!!!
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
jus wanna say a big tHanK yOu to all my great pals who showered me with loads of love and concern when i was down and stressed out......thanks guys, you guys gave me the encouragement i need when i felt lost and stressed....:)
realised that the thing i nid to do now most is to prioritise my work and jus plan ahead each time so i won't be gan jiong and stressed out when i'm held for deadline and such....
not a simple matter and it's gonna take time, but i noe with the encouragement from Ugin and also all my great pals, i noe i can DO IT!! :)
feeling soooo much better now, after i cried out and tot abt everything....jus dunno why i wan to put myself in the race with myself.....like putting so much pressure on myself when it's actually not very necessary..
I noe I've said umpteen times that I mus not be stressed and stuff, but it's really out of my control when I'm in the situation lo....Jus felt really pressurised and stressed and i hafta haf a 'crying session' and let all my emotions out before I can actually see my own situation from another perspective....
sigh....
and I'm thinking of either switching to Business fac in NTU during my 2nd year or I transfer out to NUS to study Biz....I realised I dun really like to study accounting and actually I really think this is not wat I wan to study....Still in the stage of consideration and consulting some of my frens as well as my bro.....but I hafta do it quick coz reg starts in March and ends 1 April.......
Meanwhile, shall keep you guys posted on my final decision..:)
Monday, February 23, 2004
my weekend is gone~~~~
had so many things to do over the weekend, and I'm totally exhausted......
went to help out at Windsurfing IVP at PA on Sat morn, the reg thingy was disastrous, luckily not many participants else i think they gonna condemn us liao! =X But luckily we won the overall CHAMPIONSHIP!!! Woohoo!! :P We finally got back wat's ours man.... My brother only managed to keep the title for NUS last year, but this yr we got it back!! YEAH!
Den after that rush down to Mako for my 2nd part of dive theory lessons....oh man i was so late can? Cause Mildred to wait for me and thus we ended late and she got a wedding dinner to attend some more~~~ Sorry Mil....
Sun was the pool session for my diving....wah lau eh, really xiong lo....sorry for my crudeness here, but Mil and Ugin should noe better lar...i was so stress and tired, dehydrated, exhausted, worn out that I kept making mistakes doin all those drills. And i haf these phobia of water entering my mask and nose, that i kept re-surfacing up to catch breath....I think my lungs ache after that...But still, we din manage to finish it and hafta go back to the pool thurs nite for the last few parts. I seriously am scared of wat's gonna happen in the seawater this coming Sat, when i go to Pulau Dayang~~~ Can't imagine but I'm really hoping I can do it and overcome my phobia. God pls help me!!
And then, as you can see how much activities i haf, i din even touch a page of my textbook! Coz i skipped lect to help out for windsurfing, so I nid to read my text before I can understand wat I've missed lo......die liao lar, i really busy this week also lo, some more Wed got Acc II quiz!!! *aargh!!!!*
Ugin kept telling me that tutorials dun nid to finish one, but i really dun wan to leave it hanging there lo.....think I'll try my best to read the textbook first to noe wat he taught on Sat, if can't do the tut den really forget it liao....sian man...
later still hafta go do X-ray scan for my dive trip~~~stupid doc and nurse kept saying my medical form din indicate that the X-ray scan is optional so die die must do.....:( Gotta go down all the way to Orchard to do, wait for 1hr lidat for the film....den meeting this guy who's buying my blades at 7.30 at Choa Chu Kang mrt...wah so long in between leh....i better bring my textbook to read in library or wat....sianzzzzzz~~~
Help ppl, I think i'm goin nuts liao.....i really hope this week go faster so my misery will end sooner....I think even tho hols is next week, i still haf tons of project discussions and revision to do....no more hols for me.....*boohoohoo*
SAVE ME!!!!!!
Thursday, February 19, 2004
Unsung
Read: Romans 16:1-16
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James Deitz has produced paintings of airplanes and their crews that are so realistic they look like photographs. His works hang in many aviation galleries in the United States, including the Smithsonian Institution.
One of the paintings by Deitz, titled Unsung, depicts a crew of four mechanics who are working on a dive bomber. They are far below the flight deck of an aircraft carrier somewhere in the Pacific during World War II. The pale, serious-looking, grease-stained men are working tirelessly to get the plane ready to go back into battle.
We too may be performing unnoticed tasks as we support the church's mandate to spread the gospel and train believers. Without many volunteers, no church or mission agency could do its ministry effectively.
As the apostle Paul closed his letter to the believers in Rome, he listed several people who receive no other mention in Scripture. For example, Paul referred to Phoebe and said that she was "a helper of many" (16:2). Phoebe and the others were essential to the life and work of the early church.
Are you working "below the flight deck"? Remember, your service for Christ is essential. Even if no one shows appreciation for your hard work, you can be sure that one day the Lord will reward you (Colossians 3:23-24). —Dave Egner
Our works of service in Christ's name
May not be noticed by our peers;
But what we've done in love for Him
Will be revealed when He appears. —Sper
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
me skipping econs lecture later on....YEAH! =P
coz i actually studied and did the tut ystd liao, den found out that can read on my own one, so din bother to go later liao....would be sitting there and hearing the lecturer repeating what I've studied....:P
went for my dive trip intro talk ystd at Ayer Rajah Industrial Estate (wat an ulu place!!~~ =X) luckily got MilMil to go with me for the lessons (thanks gurl!) else I dun think I wud wan to go there lo. Apparently, I think the theory lessons are jus gonna be me and Mil, coz there weren't any other ppl when we went for the intro talk. Kinda awkward to haf so much attention lo...like 1:2? Then the dive shop it's like kinda empty cept there were 4 ppl, mainly the course director and 3 instructors. I hope we dun get that guy who gave us the intro thingy coz sorry to say, his command of ang moh is abit the poor lo, kept saying "All right?" eh wat do u expect us to say? "Not all right?" =X
But the shop that we went was not so bad lar, clean, nice environment and the ppl are rather friendly....sho much better than that Leeway lo....(Agree Mil? ;) Can't wait for our theory lessons to start on Thurs...it's 3 hr pedagogy, hope i can last thru that....:P
Think me weekend is like almost gone....I haf Windsurfing IVG on Sat morn, den later at 2pm got theory lessons at Mako den almost whole day gone liao...Sun got the pool lessons at Outram Sec ( duno wher issit, only noe it's near Chinatown) and that will be like 4pm den end lo....by the time i get back still hafta study for Acc quiz next Wed....:(
yup, so think me gonna gonna piah tut agen....Tutorials are a girl's best friend!! *sarcastic*
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
was talking to a friend on MSN jus now....Apparently, his gf was my cousin's sec sch classmate and we actually met each other at the airport. What a small world~ :)
toked to him about his girlfriend and stuff, duno why but it came across to me that his gf is like pressing him to get married, when they're only 22? That's a very young age to get married I feel. Actually I've heard him talked about this a couple of times when we were in Cambodia, and at that time, I had this false impression that his gf is someone who's like sying to get married, for fear that her bf will not want her or something like that....
Maybe she has certan plans that she would like to fulfill at some certain age, at a certain point in life...I jus can't help but feel that the way my fren is saying, behaving and thinking, jus sent me the message that he wants out of the relationship. Perhaps after being together for almost 5 years, he can't bear the pain?? I duno. I'm not him so I can't say much about it. I used to think he's quite flirtatious, you know, like a buaya and all, coz he's like to be around with a bunch of girls and likes to talk and joke with them, sometimes, even haf some physical touch (in the conservative sense) too. Frankly speaking, I waa rather put off by the way he's behaving and the message he's sending out to all the pretty girls seems like, "Hey, I'm taken but still available!". At that point of time, I suddenly feel sorry for his gf, whoever that may be. Coz if I were his gf, I would probably be very disappointed or lose faith in myself...
I just feel that, in a realationship, both parties have the responsibility to be truthful and behave in a manner that does not suggest anything that may pose some problems to each other. I'm not saying that once you're in a relationship, you can't have any friends from the opposite sex or what, that'll be too domineering already. I'm jus saying that one should act as deem fit and not send wrong messages to the wrong kind of ppl.
I had q a bad fall once from my first relationship coz my ex was someone who was far below my expectations. As such, I was so disappointed that I don't believe in relationships at a certain point in time. But gradually, I changed my perspectives and mindset over the years and came to realise that the more you expect your partner to turnout, the more you'll get disappointed, becoz it's very rare or say even impossible to meet someone that fits ur bill totally.
I feel that it's essential to haf lotsa communication and trust in order for a relationship to last long. And both mus still haf their private space tho they're a couple. Being a couple doesn't equate to losing oneself. So if you think by controlling you bf is loving him, I would advise you to drop that stupid idea.
Suddenly had so much to say abt this...duno why also...:) Jus hope that my fren and his gf will haf a long lasting relationship....
Monday, February 16, 2004
after a weekend of fun and work, it's Monday again.....:(
so tired after the Biz Law lecture....think coz i slept q late ystd and woke up at 7am this morn to rush to school?? :(
had a great Valentine's Day celebration. Act we didn't haf a very lavish or elaborate celebration or wat. Jus that we could spend some time tog, other than sch hours, guess we already very happy liaoz....*winkz*
we went to Mandarin at Orchard to do a promotional couple make-over. Got this discount coupon off the papers, so I decided to go haf a try at it. :P
Turns out that it was q fun and interesting, considering we dun haf any experience in doing photo shoots and stuff. Kena 'scolded' by the photographer and the make-up artist say we dun pose like a couple. bleah Aiyah coz we not used to this kinda thing mar, so feel abit awkward lo....:P had to wait for 2 wks lidat before we can see how the photos turned out. :P But we had a preview of the photos in the digital form alr, and ended up blowing up this super 8R photo and cost me a total of $210!!!! =X Aiyah, but we were thinking we prob won't be taking such studio shots anymore in the future, for the sake of keeping it as a memento, we jus paid for it lo.....
luckily i got my tuition fees ystd, so that 'mended' abit of my pocket....hee :P
sigh still got lecture later...alr feel like sleeping liao....:(
Saturday, February 14, 2004
jus came back from watching Along Came Polly at JP with Ugin.
not bad...quite a nice show with some laughters here and there. Thought the show was quite short, slightly more than 90min and it was over. Cliched as much as it can be, it was a heart-warming one. Kinda nice to watch it as we countdown to Valentine's. ;)
Yup, it's Valentine's Day!! Happy Valentine's to all my good pals esp aH mIn, hOi, gEok, sHan~, Lili, Jinghui, wEi sHan, chia Yi, sErEne, mIldRed, rYan, zHaochen (my roomie), ya'En, rEbeCca, jIe sI and many many more! Not forgeting my dearie cousin, Tif who has settled down in Perth and spending her first ever Valentine's Day in Down Under! how i envy you man.....:P
I finally get to share this day with my special someone....:P NOt say that the past few years were bad or wat, jus that it's the first time I'm actually like having my wish fulfilled.....to spend Valentine's Day with someone I love so much.....*winkz*
NOt to make all my friends jealous or wat, jus wanna tell them that I've not forgotten any of them and Valentine's Day is also Friendship Day to me! Hope that I'll always haf you guys by my side till the day i gulped down my last breath and it was really wonderful havin to know all of you! :)
To all my friends:
You guys were the best ever that I could ever have. Thank you so much for these many many years of tolerance of my somewhat erratic and unthinkable behaviour.....For putting up with all my cranky jokes and boisterous laughter (could be heard 2 streets away! :). Thanks so much for letting me understand what friendship is. Jus a BIG THANK YOU to all of ya! *huggles*
Lastly, Happy Valentine's Day!
Friday, February 13, 2004
yeah!!! I found out a way to add music to my bloggy liao!! *beams*
happen to stumble upon hoi's fren's blog (Eunice's one) and got me to this link to PowerWeb, which is a free server that hosts music and allows one to put those HTML codes on webpages for music!!!
This song I like a lot, it's 听不到 by 梁静茹....loved her voice, real soothing......*mesmerised*
enjoy!
sent my cousin Tiffany to Australia for 2 years of study.
this is the 3rd of my close frens/relative whom I have sent. First was Jia Qi whom, technically speaking, i din really got to send coz i was 1 min late.....I cried pretty badly that time, and it really had a big impact on me. I really can't believe i was late and i could haf been earlier had I woke up early. Well, what's done cannot be undone liao.
So when i sent Hui Min off, i told myself that i must force myself to wake up much earlier than the expected time and be there early. And so I did.
Frankly speaking, I don't really like to send people off. It's sad and depressing, to knoe that someone you love and are dear to you aren't going to be conveniently available when you wan them to be. You can't get to see them (tho there's such thing as webcam) and most imptly, you'll miss the chance of giving them a hug or jus simply call and chit-chat.
Tif and I had been very close since we were young. We always play together, visit each other's house, go out shopping and stuff. There were times when she disappoint me, when we were young, she sometimes bang seh me sometimes when we had already agreed that she come to my house to play. But I didn't really mind then coz I noe there's mus be reasons why she couldn't come. (I remember this not coz I ji4 chou2 or wat lar, it's jus part of my childhood memories lo:)
There were times when she will come and relate some relationship problems to me. And the weird thing was that I was 2 yrs younger than her, and i had no idea wat it was like to be in a relationship. But I guess I'm slightly more mature in my thinking, so I could see things more objectively and rationally than her. Not say that my advice was always correct, but perhaps as a 3rd party, I'm more observant than those involved ba.
We gradually drifted apart when I went to JC and became occupied with school work and stuff. Didn't really tok much also, we used to yak and yak on the phone for hours...But it's slowly becoming one of those sweet memories....After that, I went to Uni and she was working, I guess when ppl are in a different environment, we haf different perspectives ba....Sometimes I can't agree with wat she's doing but I can't say much becoz I'm after all, younger than her and I feel that wateva she's doin, there's must be some logical reasons behind them. I jus quietly supported her decision. My role has changed to one that is active to one that is proactive. Someone who will always be there if ever she needed me.
I read a quiz she did on Friendster and she mentioned that she's still wearing the friendship ring we went to get before I got attached. I felt really horrible coz she mentioned that she still wore it althought i already didn't. I felt bad that I didn't cherish her as much as she cherish me.....And the feeling has been stabbing ever since.
I wanted to tell her how much i love her, as a cousin, as a sister, as a friend. But many times, the words will stop short at my mouth, unable to voice them out verbally when we talked or met.
I tried hard to hold back my tears when i hugged her at the airport jus now. That was a hug which I've been wanting to give her but never had the chance to. The feeling was mutual i guess.
I hope she will be up and well over at Australia. After all, 2 years ain't short.....Kinda missed her already....:(
To Tiffany:
I thank God for letting us to be cousins and your presence has really changed my life. Wish you all the best in whatever you do and stay in contact yah? :)
Missing you in Singapore........
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
had a fun time during IT lessons today. ;)
we were doing Excel spreadsheets and i were q smooth in doing coz i was having a fun time reading the textbook (yes, it was fun! :).
initially was rather irritated when this classmate of mine, who was sitting in front of me, kept asking me this and that, like how to do this, why i can't get this yadda yadda. I tot to myself: Serve you right for not studying. But at the thought of it, i felt bad at that kind of evil thought. I shouldn't have such kind of ill thoughts about my classmate. I immediately asked for God's forgiveness and tried to NOT think that way.....Luckily after that I was more at peace and just gladly helped them when they didn't know how to do.
I detest those who don't come prepared for lessons coz i feel that it's the basic responsibility on our part to come prepared for class. and the tutor's job will be to guide us along the way, and not providing 'IT support' when we can't do this and that.
Sometimes, i wonder wat makes a person not do his or her work when all of us has about the same 24hrs to eat, sleep and do stuff. Did they choose not to do them just because they don't like? or they jus conveniently forgot about it. Sometimes, I'm surprised at how discipline I am. Probably too discipline until the extent that i stress myself rather unnecessarily.
Well, I guess each one has different mindsets about work, play and rest ba. Shan't comment too much on that lest I invite some nasty criticisms...hee :P
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
went for a jog.
super shag now.....
persipiring like nobody's business.
was a good run.
ran the whole of 179 route.
almost. :)
think i feel that i've shed at least 500 grams??? :P
shall continue to jog and swim.
wanna be a oh-pretty-slim lady. hee
gonna bathe now....real sticky.
Read: Ecclesiastes 2:1-11
My heart rejoiced in all my labor . . . . And indeed all was vanity and grasping for the wind. —Ecclesiastes 2:10-11
Bible In One Year: Leviticus 6-7; Matthew 25:1-30
A friend told me that he feels closest to God when he's the busiest. He explained that when demands are the greatest, he finds himself most reliant on the Lord's strength. He pointed out, however, that unless he takes time for daily worship, his work can quickly become an escape.
Many people engage in activity for activity's sake and use busyness as a device to avoid facing reality. Just as alcohol can deaden the senses to personal relationships, family obligations, and community responsibilities, so also constant work can be a narcotic. It dulls our sensitivity to the deeper issues of life.
About 3,000 years ago, the author of Ecclesiastes discovered this. He sought satisfaction by busying himself with building houses and planting vineyards. But then as he thought about the work he had done, he realized it was full of emptiness (2:10-11).
We can make the same mistake, even in the name of the Lord. Could this be the reason some of us try to keep the church running by our own efforts but forget that fulfillment comes only from hearts full of God? Are we laboring without those vital times of worship and reflection? If so, it's time now to worship before we get caught again in the trap of working merely for work's sake. —Mart De Haan
Lord, teach me how to work each day,
That every deed I do
May not be driven by false pride
But render service true. —Anon.
Never take on more work than you have time to pray over.
Monday, February 09, 2004
having a break before i attend my last lecture of the day. YEAH!
careless me forgot to bring back specs, had to wear contact lenses for the whole of the weekend. so uncomfortable...:( Mum kept remind me to paste a note on my door to rem to bring back my specs this fri. shall keep in mind of that. :)
My weekend wasn't really happening. Had some unhappy stuff happening and i let it bother me so in the end i cried again. Talked to Ugin about it and it jus suddenly daunt on me that I should seek comfort in God too.....Never been a good christian child to Him, always didn't pray nor did i attend sunday churches. I guess it's time I should talk to Him more often. I prayed before i sleep that night, and I really felt much better because I know that I could trust all my worries and unhappy stuff in His hands, and He will find a way to sort it out. :)
Felt as if I've found a long lost friend. Someone who has been there all this while, but due to my ignorance, has been neglected by me all these years.
God, I'm truly sorry.
I promise I will try to make it a point to talk to you before I sleep every night. Thank you for always being there for me although I did not even stop to talk to you.
From your daughter-in-christ.
Friday, February 06, 2004
i din really believe that cutting hair is therapeutic, but i think i do now ;P
went to west mall to get my hair done jus now....was thinking if i should cut my hair short once and for all.....been having long hair since sec 4, abit bored of the usual hairstyle already.
felt a bit rebellious also, so i tot, wat the heck, jus cut it short!
and so my hair is both dark brown (abit like black liao but natural look lar) and short. Ugin saw my hairstyle coz we met for dinner. he jus had this kinda surprised look on his face. he din wan me to cut it short initially when I sounded him the idea, but i decided to do sth different, make some radical change to my otherwise bored to death life. :P
I really feel much fresher with loads of hair gone and i feel lighter, more chirpy. THink it's really therapeutic. Felt so much better after the hair cut, was feeling so blue and down for the rest of the day before that.
I've also set my mind to start on a journey in search of my true identity. Let's jus called it "In Search for Shu". :) I jus suddenly haf this feeling that i don't have my own identity like that. Like i belong to something and someone but I jus don't haf a specific identity that stands out and let others know that, "Hey that's Shu!". And so I decided to give myself until graduation to find ME. yesh the real ME, the ME that I'm satisfied with and that I'm contented with. I guess it's not gonna be easy, but I jus wan to find myself. I hope i can. No, I know i can. :)
I duno wat's there to do in order to find ME, but I'll try my best to do that.
in search of me......
duno why issit because I've had very long hours of classes consecutively...
i suddenly feel very helpless....like i can't do anything lidat....it's pressing me and forcing me into a dark corner where i can't see the light, i can't see the faces of my loved ones.
i don't know why i feel this way...friends have been telling me i looked totally exhausted these days....yah i know i do, but i can't help it sometimes, there's just so many tutorials waiting for me to do and if i don't clear them in due time, they'll jus creeping onto me and suffocate me sooner or later.
i think i'm experiencing my bouts of depression.....never felt like this since JC when i had such frequent outbreaks in school....so many visits to hospital.....i can't help it....i duno how to stop stressing myself, i'm jus so helpless to do anything...
i hate school.
i'm always rushing for tutorials....my whole weekend and free days are all spent doing tutorials......and i hate this word that starts with 't' now.....i hate it...but i can't jus leave them lying around....if i don't do them, i think i will go nuts even faster...
i'm really tired....i think it's taking a toll on me....i need a rest...but i know i don't really have the luxury to enjoy all these....coz i don't have enough time.
Mon: 1030-1230 Econ Tut
1230-230 Biz Law Lect
430-630 CS Lect
Tue: Free day but it's my home work day....how sian can it be?
Wed: 1030-1230 Econs Lect
1230-230 Acc II Tut
230-430 IT Tut
THurs: 830-1030 IT Lect
1230-230 Biz Law Tut
430-530 CS Tut
Fri: Free Day. Another doing of home work day coz my tut is on Mon and i don't want to bring back my heavy textbook.
Sat: 1030-1230 Acc II Lect
By the time I reach home each Sat, i'm goner for the day............too tired to do anything...and Sun morn is tuition until 1230........and the rest of the days are dedicated to doing more tutorials....
i dun understand why this sem I'm doin so much tutorial......it seems as if I'm becoming a tutorials slave like that....no freedom....always haf to do tutorial to redeem myself....i don't know.....my life is only full of tutorials......
now i haf the comments and archives liao, so feel free to write anything yah?
Kudos to MILdred once again for doing such a big favor to me! Love ya loads! *huggies*
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
went to jog jus now. felt so refreshed after that! *woot* mus keep to my regime liao...really getting fat already...:( ate chup chai beng today, den kena scolded my ugin, he said that was the most sinful food in the world! :P i mean it's true lar, coz when i finished the food, i can only disgust myself with all the oil glistening at me! yeee!!! :/
so he said i should start eating all the healthy food lo, which i agree but u noe it's hard to keep that strict diet coz i haf multiple bouts of gastric attacks that's why cant' afford to starve myself lo.....nonetheless, think i jus eat as healthy as possible and mus really stick to my jogging and swimming regime liao!! Friends, if u see me pls remind me hor!! *winks!* :P
went to buy dis product that supposedly adds proteins to my hair....it's kinda oily lar, dun really noe if it works lo, but dun really like the feeling of 'oil' on my hair lo...but hope it's better....anyway me goin to dye my hair back to dark brown on Fri coz think my hair now is too goldish liao, my fren said i was ah lianwhen he saw me lo... stupid Nicky! dun appreciate....but I wan to become shu2 nu2 now...hee:P so gotta tone down on my hair color abit....
think that's all for the day...gotta turn in soon coz i'm totally shag after all the tut and lectures...:( Good nite!
this is the only word I could think of right now. i jus completed a record-breaking of 8hr-consecutive-tutorials-lecture today. and i jus got this feeling that i've actually completed a marathon. nope maybe it's a triathlon.
only ate like a muesli bar at 11am during econ lecture and i din haf time to buy anything else coz the only time i haf left is for shuttling in between classes. so i practically only drank plain water since 11am. I felt as if i've completed a feat or sth... *bleah*
waiting for dinner time. but i dun think i'll haf appetite also coz i'm so mentally tired and physically tired also dat i dun think i even haf the energy to open my mouth, put in the food, chew and swallow. yup, i think that is too much usage of energy liao....
feeling abit faintish now....think i seriously lack glucose...better grab some of my honey stars to munch before i concuss....