Friday, February 06, 2004 @ 12:57 am
i had this feeling that's hanging over me for the past 2 days....
duno why issit because I've had very long hours of classes consecutively...
i suddenly feel very helpless....like i can't do anything lidat....it's pressing me and forcing me into a dark corner where i can't see the light, i can't see the faces of my loved ones.
i don't know why i feel this way...friends have been telling me i looked totally exhausted these days....yah i know i do, but i can't help it sometimes, there's just so many tutorials waiting for me to do and if i don't clear them in due time, they'll jus creeping onto me and suffocate me sooner or later.
i think i'm experiencing my bouts of depression.....never felt like this since JC when i had such frequent outbreaks in school....so many visits to hospital.....i can't help it....i duno how to stop stressing myself, i'm jus so helpless to do anything...
i hate school.
i'm always rushing for tutorials....my whole weekend and free days are all spent doing tutorials......and i hate this word that starts with 't' now.....i hate it...but i can't jus leave them lying around....if i don't do them, i think i will go nuts even faster...
i'm really tired....i think it's taking a toll on me....i need a rest...but i know i don't really have the luxury to enjoy all these....coz i don't have enough time.
Mon: 1030-1230 Econ Tut
1230-230 Biz Law Lect
430-630 CS Lect
Tue: Free day but it's my home work day....how sian can it be?
Wed: 1030-1230 Econs Lect
1230-230 Acc II Tut
230-430 IT Tut
THurs: 830-1030 IT Lect
1230-230 Biz Law Tut
430-530 CS Tut
Fri: Free Day. Another doing of home work day coz my tut is on Mon and i don't want to bring back my heavy textbook.
Sat: 1030-1230 Acc II Lect
By the time I reach home each Sat, i'm goner for the day............too tired to do anything...and Sun morn is tuition until 1230........and the rest of the days are dedicated to doing more tutorials....
i dun understand why this sem I'm doin so much tutorial......it seems as if I'm becoming a tutorials slave like that....no freedom....always haf to do tutorial to redeem myself....i don't know.....my life is only full of tutorials......