lately, I've been feeling that a part of me is lingering somewhere else, in a far far away land, just not at work.

I was drifting from daze and work today and am totally listless and fidgety. Tried to bring myself back by talking and asking questions (in fact loads of stupid questions to my senior, which I think I could possibly easily figure it out if I have 'myself' back today).

I feel disgusted that I'm feeling incompetent. I don't want to make people feel that i'm incompetent. That's a terrible feeling.

I'm trying hard to learn but I feel stifled and like I wished I had more time to read thru things before doing it, but time is of the essence right now.

I wished I could breeze through the work like my senior does and how I wish it could happen NOW. But this is naive thought, because everything comes with hard work and experience.

I can only wish time flies by faster so I can be more confident of myself at work and know what I am doin.

Oh God, I need strength.