Wednesday, August 25, 2004 @ 6:19 pm
i've developed a love-hate relationship with school and homework.
On one hand, i have extreme distaste for school because of all the workload that is piling high every week. I have to perpetualy equip myself with a spade to clear off that mountain high of readings and tutorials.
I hate it.
There seems to be no end to it and i seriously wonder if all the supplements that we're required to read will come out during exam.
And for your information, all of my course modules are open book.
Now, is that good or bad news? Sceptics like me would think that this is another of those conspiracy with the school and professors to "killing me softly"..
And besides, how much can u refer to during that 2.5 hr of paper? Even if you brought your entire archive of notes in, i doubt you can finish the paper when u finish rummaging through it to find answers. And it'll suddenly daunt on you that the answers can't be found inside the notes coz it's OPEN BOOK! Why do you think the school is so nice to let u take notes in to the exam hall? THey would of course set the paper such that it's totally IMPOSSIBLE to find any traces of answers inside.
Applause for the victory of their conspiracy. Hurrah.
But sometimes, I think i'm crazy. I can actually laugh and find it enjoyable to read my notes some times. I think at that point of time, I've become somewhat a dimwit/sadist.
I would really like to pore into my thick skull of mine and investigate the true motivation behind my endless studying.
Maybe because I'm afraid to lose. It feels good sometimes when you know you're ahead of others and you can glee inside your head that, hey, i'm faster than you! hah.
Ok, i know, this is all the self-ego boosting that's causing me to be like that. But i'm just so afraid to lag behind my peers. And i know i have a bad habit of freaking out when i'm stressed, which is mostly due to unfinished readings and more tutorials. So to alleviate such circumstances, it's best to maintain consistency in studying.
But it gets boring sometimes, and you'll see me lamenting on sch again here, talking nonsense and blabbering on Blogger...yadda yadda...
Oh, how i hate school...